Many have been graduated from school of management but let me ask you a question: have you ever read a self-development book about loser telling about how craps he is? Have you ever read a management textbook wrote by a loser and tell a story about their failures? Probably not. All successful persons love to boast their achievement and to tell others about it. Most of the book is about successful people and about how effective they are, how persevere and determined they are. They don’t like to write about their failure, their mistakes, even their big mistakes in life. Anyway, books won’t sell if it is about failure. People love a happy ending, good scene, enjoyable story that can arose their imagination about the success and how if they get it for their own. I don’t like that kind of craps. That is why I never interested in books or seminars about selling, marketing, self-development, motivation or other kinds of cheap nonsense that try to portrait life so simple and dull. The only “this type of book” that I read completely is “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. I read it for the first time accidently at Gramedia and actually I never intended to finish it, because I can sense a good book from the first chapter. But this book is unique. It doesn’t started with the way to be success or a success story about someone who turn someone from no one, who owned nothing and ended up having anything. But instead, it started with a suggestion that we should hold on to our own value in life. I think this is a success-philosophy book, not a type of book that will tell us what to do, forcing us to copy someone else life, and to live the way he lives, and imitate him the way he want it to be. I highly recommend this book to everyone who wants to have a good life but still can say NO to hanky-panky and monkey business. If you are a type of someone who wants to be SUCCESS, and SUCCESS WITH ALL COST, you better hear or read to other “motivators”. This book and especially this writing is not about SUCCESS, this is about Suckers!!!
Most of the books is about success. While losers don’t like to stick their neck out. Losers are the humblest person when talking about their failures. They don’t like to talk about it, moreover to boast it. But I think we can learn more from the losers than from the winners. We have to learn why they were broke, or demoted, or despised, or divorced, or harmed, or ousted, or hated. If I was asked to write a Principle of Management textbook, 75% is about failure, while only 25% is about success.
Now, we come to the point when I’m about to write about my life. I AM A LOSER! I write this confession because I like it. I don’t like to be despised, second rated, and ignored. But I think I have a story to be told. Every failure is a debt. Not only to the people you let down, but also to others who can learn from your experience. The most important thing is I don’t want you to follow my wrong step. My story is about a failure and failure is the better way to learn than success story. I have been a loser for a very long time, but one failure (if not catastrophe) that inspired me to wrote this confession.
Let me begin by telling you my point of view of success. Now, don’t imagine me as an arrogant person who doesn’t know the way to see the world. I am aware about how the world is working. I know that a successful person is someone who gets their call replied most of the time, doing their job well, accomplished their task and project on schedule, saluted, or greeted on many party or occasion, who’s sometime hated yet at the most of the time admired, who has a good family, high position, big assets, “dua digit” or seven digits salary, nice house, ride a nice car, or any type of description humanly possible attached to it. I know what success is. So, given this standard, I know I am a failure. Do I hate it? No. For what reason do I have to hate it? Do I try to be success? I won’t, if it means I have to sacrifice some of my happiness. Do I want to have a good family, have my call replied, greeted at parties, ride a good car, etc. Of course, who doesn’t? Do I envy a successful person? No, I admire them. They create a better society. Do I want others to be successful? Of course, that is why I wrote this note. So what is the point of my life? Reach a happy life, as much as I can. Doing good things as much as I can, be an ethical person as much as I can, what follow after that? Success or failure will never matter, come what may!
Okay then, I’m a failure, you know that already. But one of the thing that strengthen my “faith” for that is my failure today, November 12, 2010, the day I will never forget until the day I die. Since last week, I was assigned to be a program coordinator for MIS Fieldtrip program. The job include to make sure that everything is fine, food, bus, driver, snacks, certificate, attendance list, destination, token of appreciation, banner, and many other things. Of course, this will be a very little job compared with directing a movie, running a company, inspecting a project, and many other jobs successful person usually assigned to. I have made sure everything is good to go. But suddenly, early in the morning, I failed to make sure one thing; to bring snacks to the buses. The reason? I can’t say one simple sentence “’Please wait’ until the food is ready to be loaded”. 1 sentence!!! Imagine!!! One sentence!!! Just to say, please wait, cafeteria workers are filling the boxes, drinking water also are have to wait. JUST ONE WORD: WAIT. I was afraid to say one word. Imagine, one unspoken word can change a course of the whole week preparation into ruin. I can decide, because I am the coordinator, yet I failed to do so. I cannot stand the pressure to face my fellow worker upon my return. I try to be funny and strong, but I just can’t. I don’t know what else to do than to be silence almost all the time, speak only things necessary. All the blame is on me. On the way back to MIS, after that 3 hour of catastrophe, I asked one student “what do you think that was felt by a corruptor when their corrupt scheme was discovered by authority?” (I asked this question because I think at this very moment, that is the way I feel) He said, “Shame and burdened. Except if he has a strong mentality.” I asked again, “What do you mean with strong mentality? Do you mean strong mentality is lack of morality? He doesn’t know how to differentiate again, what is right and what is wrong?” I didn’t get the reply. He was silent.
I refuse to have this type of “STRONG MENTALITY” if it means to pretend that I did nothing wrong. I have to be broken down and despaired. I have to be shameful, and I feel deeply guilty for this whole mess. I can’t change the situation. I have to be brave to say I am sorry and stop looking for someone to be blamed. I am a failure, a loser. I have to face tomorrow with this guilt. That is the punishment I have to receive. Salary deduction will be tolerable, never been promoted is not a big problem. Of course to cut my own hand or exercise a seppuku or hara-kiri like that fanatics ancient Japanese Samurai is the way too extreme. But I have to induce pain in my own-self to gain a sense of justice, after the suffering I have imposed to others, many others; students, teachers, drivers, uncounted number of “victims.” I am sorry. Please forgive me. That is the only thing I can say now.
So, that is my story. A loser story. The moral? Never do the same mistake the way I did. Always think fast, and prioritize what is the most important thing (in my case, I have to chose between human needs –foods- or time allocation, and I chose the thing with lesser importance). And if you have the authority to save the situation, do it right away. Be calm and under control. Always think for the greater and nobler cause even if that means someone will get mad at you. Or if it is not about a noble cause, think about a greater good and lesser evil, or about bigger profit or smaller loss. Always put first think that will bring greatest profit or smallest loss, greatest good or least evil. In one word: PRIORITIZE!!! So, as a loser, I conclude that there are three most important things in management: first, BE CALM. Second, PRIORITIZE, third, MAKE A DECISION. After those three processes, you can be sure about everything to follow. Aha!! I forget to mention, after Covey’s “Seven Habits” I have another motivational book I like to read. It is by Zig Ziglar titled “God’s Way is Still the Best Way.” I like it because it because from the title we can see that this book, just like Covey’s “Seven Habits”, started with a value driven, not result, or worldly material driven motivation. The book is available at Gramedia, but MAHAAAAAL!!! Hardcover, Rp. 80.000,-. I’ll wait until I get enough money. I don’t want to search for free from internet and then copy it to my Boox, because the spiritual content. Don’t want to make a bigger sin. Anyway, concerning that book, I can add from that three steps I give before = Put God First.
P.S. You maybe ask; “Juan, you spent your time reading. How can you put it into action???” My answer is: Hey, you forget something. I AM A LOSER! I don’t want to put my reading into action. I read for entertainment not for “action for success” sake. Losers always spent their time for something they like not for something useful. Some losers play DotA all the time, some waste money for gambling, others by chasing girls, others get addicted to drugs or alcohol. Or some loser are crazy about a movie, or some addicted to pornography. And for me? I love books. And I’ll read a good book whether it gives success or not, as long as it is a good book and it amuses me. I don’t suggest you to be a drugs or DotA addict, I am saying that, if you are glued to something that may brings you away from success (A.K.A. a loser, by worldly standard), please find something that can bring meaning to your miserable life, like erudition (read all the time), become a philosopher (think all the time), or become a pastor (praying all the time, find something invisible to lean on, while sacrificing tangible pleasure. By any worldly standard, a GOOD pastor is a loser, but I adore pastor, same with me, a GOOD pastor is a positive loser).
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